Chef Klumpitize

Alright so I've got numerous requests to post new recipes (turns out epic nachos were epic) so here is another trademarked dish of my own!


Cheesy-buffalo-potato-maddness 1337

This recipe is quick, easy, and has very little clean up.

Procedure:

-buy roughly 12-18 boneless wings from any wing restaurant.


-smash the wings and line the bottom of a 9x9 pan


-cook any type of potato (this picture uses hand-cut 
potatoes, my favorite is either tater tots or wedges)*


-top the pan lined with wings with the cooked potatoes and evenly distribute them.


-cover with a truckload of cheese until you cannot see the potatoes.


-place in the oven on the lowest temperature until cheese melts




*Try with different wing sauces. I started with mild, but the next time I make this I am getting garlic-parm ones!

**do not use mashed potatoes.... bad idea





This recipe i made today. It took roughly 30 minutes and it is really good!!!

Recipe for Success (Epic Nachos)

For those of you who want to know how Zach, TK, and I are making our Epic Nachos, this is how! (The recipe was created at a Madness Wednesday two years ago.)

Epic Nachos

2-3 bags of different tortilla chips (Tostada, On the Border, and Tostito Chips are what we are using)
1 quart of white cheese dip
1 or 2 jars of salsa
1 jar of jalapenos
4 bags of assorted shredded cheeses (Pepper Jack, Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Mexican)
2 cups of choice of cooked meat (ground beef, steak strips, or chicken)
1 small cup of scallions
2 cups of shredded lettuce

Option Plays:
Epic Buffalo Nachos- use shredded chicken dipped in wing sauce
Epic Vegetarian nachos- add green peppers, tomatoes, and/or onions instead of meat.

Preparation:
Layer the bottom of a large tray with relatively one bag of nachos. Top with one bag of cheese, and a few jalapenos. Make another layer of chips and top with another bag of cheese, salsa, and meat instead of jalapenos. Do this until you run out of cheese/chips (be sure to save some meat for the topping!). Once finished, put into the oven (at the lowest temperature) until the cheese melts. Then top with the white queso, scallions, shredded lettuce, and leftover meat.

It'll look something like this:

ENJOY! :)

Step One: Happiness

Everyday and I see people that are annoyed, stressed, or seem to be too busy with life to be happy. This needs to change because misery spreads like a sickness. Imagine for a second that everyone you saw was in a great mood. It would be strange because you know there is always someone you see everyday that seems to be having the worst day of their life.*

I don't understand people that choose to be miserable. It doesn't make sense to me. For some people it is difficult because they have a lot going on in their lives that causes stress or sadness. It is OK to be sad once in a while, but not all the time. 

Some people can't even be happy when they are with their friends or at an enjoyable place. They are so focused on the bad things going on that they forget the good things that are currently happening to them.

Remember that the easiest way to be happy is focusing on and doing all the small things that make you happy. While thinking about this, I made a list of easy ways to make yourself happy. These are some of the things I do to make myself happy when I am in a crappy mood. **

Nathan's Easy Way to Happiness

- Obtain your favorite food

- Watch your favorite movie or TV show

- Play your favorite video game or read your favorite book

- Take a nap

- Go for a run

None of these ideas are really difficult or take up too much time. It is easy to make room in your day to do at least one of these things. You may have a lot going on in your life, but choosing to be miserable is always a bad choice.

*If there is one person you know who is always in a bad mood, try to make their day better. You will never know how much of a difference you just made

**All of these things should be done alone. If you are in a crappy mood stay away from others unless you need help. This way you don't put others in a crappy mood too!

"Politics... that's a bear trap"

Well quoted by my friend Zach Dawson, this statement is quite true. Bringing up the ever-continuous battle of political issues is always a bad idea. No matter how many people you talk to, you will not change the political agenda without being a powerful politician. So why discuss it?


Top 3 Reasons People Talk about Politics


1. You will make a difference: No. If you are campaigning against something, support the major organization against that idea if you really care that much. It's easy to volunteer for the organization's major events... even buy a t-shirt. Whatever it takes for you to feel like you helped.


2. You will make someone change their opinion on something: Um, no. In our stubborn world, good luck changing anyone's mind on something as simple as what they eat for lunch.* 


3. To start an argument: If this is your objective, congratulations! No matter what happens, you have just succeeded.




So what do you hope to gain from talking about this topic? If you bring politics up with me, I will immediately change the subject.** So if you want to be a person that everyone enjoys being around, a helpful tip is to not talk about politics. Don't step in the bear trap.

*Unless you prove that chicken nuggets, ham sandwiches, and frozen pizza are poison I will never stop eating them


**Please please please please don't talk about it around me!!!!!!

Love Your Enemies... Unless You Have None

Recently I posted "10 Steps to Being a Better Person" and in my last post I talked about the first step to making people not dread being around you. Now why would I post those things?


Life is a lot easier when everyone doesn't hate you. Sure there are some people who may hate you because of something terrible you did to them, but you can't change the past.* Achieving a life without enemies may seem unrealistic, and for some it may be impossible. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to.


Recently, I have set out on a mission to love my enemies. While meditating on this topic I realized that I don't like having enemies. So that's when I decided: why just not have any?


If you have ever thought, "I just want this person to go away! I can't stand them!" then maybe its time you put your hatred away and started loving them instead. The results will suprise you.


I'm on a quest to live life without enemies. So, join me if you'd like. It's going to be one heck of an adventure.**

*If you have done something terrible to someone and haven't at least apologized, that is your first step! Note: when apologizing, a favor or small gift makes the apology genuine.


**If you don't like adventures, don't join me. If you know me in real life then you know I love adventures, no matter how rediculous!

Shooting Fish in Barrels

First off, shooting fish in a barrel is not easy (unless you have a shotgun with trap shot rounds).* Second, who tried shooting a fish in a barrel in the first place? Either way there are more important things to discuss...

Everyone has habits. Figure out if your habits annoy others, and if any of them do, stop. Don't leave it up to your friends to harass you to quit and put up with it. So in the context of my title, if your fish bite others, shoot them yourself.

Healthy habits are easy to figure out. If you do things like run everyday or take vitamins, well good for you. Don't try to make everyone do the same thing. There is nothing wrong with being unique, but if you boast about your healthy habits people will get annoyed with you anyway.**

Kicking bad habits is the first step into a life without people disliking you. It may be hard, but take baby steps and you will be fine. 

*The Mythbusters proved it. Don't argue with me or them.

**Don't tell people they need to change their lifestyle... they get offended, and you could end up with a black eye

Stapler... Purple Starfish...

If you know anything about me you know that I enjoy spontaneity and randomness. So today I decided to share two of my favorite, random videos with you. Enjoy =)


Note: Mild language/ stick figure violence

If you thought ^ movie was funny, there are two more on youtube!

10 steps to being a better person

1. Stop watching Jersey Shore

2. Stop complaining about your weight*

3. Don't lie/back-stab/cheat

4. Brush your teeth, stop chewing gum thinking it'll do the same thing... it doesn't

5. If you have a bad habit, try fixing it today instead of tomorrow. "I'm going to quit soon," is a lie and a bad one

6. Realize you have to accept the consequences of your actions and quit whining about it, and learn from it

7. If you are in a bad mood, don't drag me into it. I know misery loves company, but I'll take a rain check

8. Delete "Friday" off of your iPod. You may think it's a funny joke, but the jokes on you for having it on your iPod to begin with


9. Clean out your car every once in a while. It's common courtesy for your passengers**


10. If you have problems with someone, go out of your way to try and fix it. Living a life without enemies is hard, but it is very possible.

This is Hurley, my favorite character from Lost. If you want to be a good person, be like him.






*See, "A Life Diet?!"


** I just cleaned out my car recently, you should too. You will be amazed at what you may find. I found $23 =)

"I'm so glad its nice out!"

You must not live in Indiana or Illinois if you are saying this phrase... well at least for 8 out of the 12 months in a year. Everyone (including myself) complains about the weather where I live.


When people come home from a trip south, immediately people ask how the weather was. I think their ridiculous  tan/sunburn should answer that question.* Then we get jealous that they've spent the last week in 80-90 degree weather while it's in the 50's and raining here.


If you're one of the people who has lived somewhere else and always talks about how much nicer it was where you used to live, then here's an idea: move back! Don't complain to me because I don't control the weather.


People that live near Chicago need to be thankful for where we live because we have the Dunes, unlike states like Iowa and Nebraska.** Having a good beach nearby is needed in order to sustain an enjoyable summer. During the 4 months of decent weather we can actually enjoy ourselves while people from Iowa and Nebraska just get to sweat harder while they farm.


Also, the amount of tornado warnings in Valparaiso is ridiculous. If you aren't willing to put up with the fact that we live in tornado ally then move, because they're just going to keep coming. If you are really concerned, get a basement and insurance, you'll be fine.***

*Seriously? Do you really think someone who just went to Florida for spring break was in terrible weather the entire time?


**What the heck do people do for fun in those states anyway? 

***If you can't afford insurance, you can always put up plywood on your windows to calm your paranoia.

Remembering the Future

"Are you kidding me??? You seriously want to do that?"
"Yah, It'll be fun! Stop overreacting..."*


Sometimes in life we get so caught up with living in the moment that we forget to think about the future. Usually, this means that you're so distracted from a certain emotion that you can only dwell on the present.


In my generation, the phrase, "because we might not get tomorrow," is becoming more and more popular.** It's in songs, TV shows, and said by everyone who needs a crappy excuse for what they're doing. My age group basically decided that we don't care about our future as long as we are happy now. 


Consequences (that are not immediate) are usually disregarded by people consumed with the present. I am guilty of this, and I am pretty sure most people would go back and do something different if they could. The key is to keep in mind the future. It's what you make of it.


This week, I was asked, "What would you go back in time and do differently?" I responded after thinking a moment with, "A lot..."*** Bringing up the past in people's lives usually doesn't spark happiness, because a lot of peoples' pasts are filled with guilt or bad memories. Especially in my generation.


The future is something to look forward to, not fear. The easiest way of doing this is remembering the small things that you enjoy. For me it's things like cookie dough, jet skiing in Michigan, and the cruise I'm going on in June. 


Focusing on the small happy things will make you happier too. Something I am currently excited about is that the NBA season is almost over because I'm tired of listening to/ looking at Lebron James.


It is true that the future is what you make of it, and you can't change the past. If someone could invent a time machine asap, that would be great!****

*Conversation between me and someone else about 2 months ago.


** "Tonight"- Enrique Iglesias


***Following this statement was a list of idiotic things I've done in my past.


****Dinosaurs... Jesus... All wonderful time travel sights to see. If I could have a pet dino my life would have a whole new meaning! I wouldn't want to stay long, living without electricity has never sounded appealing to me.

A day late, and two thousand dollars short?

Today I caught myself laughing at a statistic I heard on the radio. "50% of Americans, if faced with an emergency, could not come up with $2000."

First off, this has little to do with the economy.* Second off, Americans are compulsive buyers... of everything. Saving money is an idea of the past for most people, and that is a problem.

The radio station I was listening to interviewed people on purchases that they ended up regretting. Some ridiculous things mentioned were minuscule things such as toasters to huge purchases like sports cars and houses. Come on America... really???

There's an easy way in life to do whatever you want. It's called budgeting. If you're too busy spending your money to care about your budget then you will end up in the 50% that can't come up with the money**.

Gas prices right now are ridiculous, but guess who doesn't care?*** Me. Why? Because I changed my budget to account for the changes, and honestly not much has changed.


If you are 35 or older, reading this, and don't have a savings fund (or other way of investing money)... well I don't even have a sarcastic comment for your idiocy.

*Fact: The economy may be down, but that doesn't mean you can't make money.

** Unless your parents are rich... enjoy your mooching.


*** They are annoying though.

A Life Diet?!

Earlier I was approached this week with someone saying, "Hey Nate, looks like you lost weight." To which i responded with my usual reply of, "Nope." It's called moderation everyone. Find a weight range you like and stick too it. Mine is 190-220 and I don't care who knows.


My biggest pet peeve is TV and magazines telling girls that they need to weigh approximately 0 pounds in order to be happy or attractive.* Also, if you are a girl looking in a magazine and think a model beautiful because of how skinny she is, don't try to look like her, Photoshop is real. You don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. Girls today are obsessed with the topic of losing weight. They also spend more time talking about it then actually trying to.


If you're concerned about your weight, stop crying about it to your friends and find a sport you enjoy, or work out. Don't diet because that never works. The only dieting method that truly works 100% of the time for everyone is stop eating fast food and start drinking water.** It's your life. Figure out how to be happy with it.


Men have it easy in this category because it is a lot easier for us to lose weight.*** Thankfully landscaping is a job that requires a lot of physical activity, so for the summer I don't have to think twice about my weight... unless I get too skinny that is.

*Fact: America has an obesity problem. That's a whole other topic though....

** Fact: Diets are a step towards eating disorders. I have had friends that started dieting then ended up starving themselves. If you are considering dieting, try balancing how much you eat compared to the amount of physical activity you do, this will prevent you from gaining more. And even though it sucks, hit the gym and start running.

*** Don't ask me why, I am not a doctor.

It's About Time

If you are reading this: congratulations. You are now on your first step into a sarcastic-filled adventure into the mind of me, Nathan Klumpe. Now that I have a blog... great. I am on my first step into a wonderful world of letting everyone know my thoughts about things I think about.

First off: A couple of rules
1. If you don't enjoy sarcasm or if you think that everything anyone says is 100% literal, leave.
2. Everything said here is based on fact, not stereotypes.
3. My grammar is not perfect, but neither is yours.

So... lets begin shall we?