"I'm so glad its nice out!"

You must not live in Indiana or Illinois if you are saying this phrase... well at least for 8 out of the 12 months in a year. Everyone (including myself) complains about the weather where I live.


When people come home from a trip south, immediately people ask how the weather was. I think their ridiculous  tan/sunburn should answer that question.* Then we get jealous that they've spent the last week in 80-90 degree weather while it's in the 50's and raining here.


If you're one of the people who has lived somewhere else and always talks about how much nicer it was where you used to live, then here's an idea: move back! Don't complain to me because I don't control the weather.


People that live near Chicago need to be thankful for where we live because we have the Dunes, unlike states like Iowa and Nebraska.** Having a good beach nearby is needed in order to sustain an enjoyable summer. During the 4 months of decent weather we can actually enjoy ourselves while people from Iowa and Nebraska just get to sweat harder while they farm.


Also, the amount of tornado warnings in Valparaiso is ridiculous. If you aren't willing to put up with the fact that we live in tornado ally then move, because they're just going to keep coming. If you are really concerned, get a basement and insurance, you'll be fine.***

*Seriously? Do you really think someone who just went to Florida for spring break was in terrible weather the entire time?


**What the heck do people do for fun in those states anyway? 

***If you can't afford insurance, you can always put up plywood on your windows to calm your paranoia.

Remembering the Future

"Are you kidding me??? You seriously want to do that?"
"Yah, It'll be fun! Stop overreacting..."*


Sometimes in life we get so caught up with living in the moment that we forget to think about the future. Usually, this means that you're so distracted from a certain emotion that you can only dwell on the present.


In my generation, the phrase, "because we might not get tomorrow," is becoming more and more popular.** It's in songs, TV shows, and said by everyone who needs a crappy excuse for what they're doing. My age group basically decided that we don't care about our future as long as we are happy now. 


Consequences (that are not immediate) are usually disregarded by people consumed with the present. I am guilty of this, and I am pretty sure most people would go back and do something different if they could. The key is to keep in mind the future. It's what you make of it.


This week, I was asked, "What would you go back in time and do differently?" I responded after thinking a moment with, "A lot..."*** Bringing up the past in people's lives usually doesn't spark happiness, because a lot of peoples' pasts are filled with guilt or bad memories. Especially in my generation.


The future is something to look forward to, not fear. The easiest way of doing this is remembering the small things that you enjoy. For me it's things like cookie dough, jet skiing in Michigan, and the cruise I'm going on in June. 


Focusing on the small happy things will make you happier too. Something I am currently excited about is that the NBA season is almost over because I'm tired of listening to/ looking at Lebron James.


It is true that the future is what you make of it, and you can't change the past. If someone could invent a time machine asap, that would be great!****

*Conversation between me and someone else about 2 months ago.


** "Tonight"- Enrique Iglesias


***Following this statement was a list of idiotic things I've done in my past.


****Dinosaurs... Jesus... All wonderful time travel sights to see. If I could have a pet dino my life would have a whole new meaning! I wouldn't want to stay long, living without electricity has never sounded appealing to me.

A day late, and two thousand dollars short?

Today I caught myself laughing at a statistic I heard on the radio. "50% of Americans, if faced with an emergency, could not come up with $2000."

First off, this has little to do with the economy.* Second off, Americans are compulsive buyers... of everything. Saving money is an idea of the past for most people, and that is a problem.

The radio station I was listening to interviewed people on purchases that they ended up regretting. Some ridiculous things mentioned were minuscule things such as toasters to huge purchases like sports cars and houses. Come on America... really???

There's an easy way in life to do whatever you want. It's called budgeting. If you're too busy spending your money to care about your budget then you will end up in the 50% that can't come up with the money**.

Gas prices right now are ridiculous, but guess who doesn't care?*** Me. Why? Because I changed my budget to account for the changes, and honestly not much has changed.


If you are 35 or older, reading this, and don't have a savings fund (or other way of investing money)... well I don't even have a sarcastic comment for your idiocy.

*Fact: The economy may be down, but that doesn't mean you can't make money.

** Unless your parents are rich... enjoy your mooching.


*** They are annoying though.

A Life Diet?!

Earlier I was approached this week with someone saying, "Hey Nate, looks like you lost weight." To which i responded with my usual reply of, "Nope." It's called moderation everyone. Find a weight range you like and stick too it. Mine is 190-220 and I don't care who knows.


My biggest pet peeve is TV and magazines telling girls that they need to weigh approximately 0 pounds in order to be happy or attractive.* Also, if you are a girl looking in a magazine and think a model beautiful because of how skinny she is, don't try to look like her, Photoshop is real. You don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. Girls today are obsessed with the topic of losing weight. They also spend more time talking about it then actually trying to.


If you're concerned about your weight, stop crying about it to your friends and find a sport you enjoy, or work out. Don't diet because that never works. The only dieting method that truly works 100% of the time for everyone is stop eating fast food and start drinking water.** It's your life. Figure out how to be happy with it.


Men have it easy in this category because it is a lot easier for us to lose weight.*** Thankfully landscaping is a job that requires a lot of physical activity, so for the summer I don't have to think twice about my weight... unless I get too skinny that is.

*Fact: America has an obesity problem. That's a whole other topic though....

** Fact: Diets are a step towards eating disorders. I have had friends that started dieting then ended up starving themselves. If you are considering dieting, try balancing how much you eat compared to the amount of physical activity you do, this will prevent you from gaining more. And even though it sucks, hit the gym and start running.

*** Don't ask me why, I am not a doctor.

It's About Time

If you are reading this: congratulations. You are now on your first step into a sarcastic-filled adventure into the mind of me, Nathan Klumpe. Now that I have a blog... great. I am on my first step into a wonderful world of letting everyone know my thoughts about things I think about.

First off: A couple of rules
1. If you don't enjoy sarcasm or if you think that everything anyone says is 100% literal, leave.
2. Everything said here is based on fact, not stereotypes.
3. My grammar is not perfect, but neither is yours.

So... lets begin shall we?